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Peppermint

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Retiring from LiveJournal [22 Sep 2010|02:14pm]
I've used this account to post numerous event announcements and for reading the posts of others, but it is time to move on. I'm leaving this LJ account visible, but will not post here any more.

If you want to find me, I'm on twitter, facebook, and fetlife:

http://www.twitter.com/freaksexual
http://www.facebook.com/pepomint
http://fetlife.com/users/51435

And of course I'll still be blogging at www.freaksexual.com.
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This Monday July 19th: SF poly under-40 coffeehouse social and dinner [17 Jul 2010|11:38pm]
** This is the last livejournal announcement of the coffeehouse. If you want to hear about future under-40 events, join our google group:
http://groups.google.com/group/sf-poly-coffeehouse

Monday July 19th (every 3rd Monday, next is August 16th).
6-8pm at the coffeehouse.
8-10pm dinner at a nearby restaurant.
possible clubbing afterwards.

Muddy Waters Coffeehouse.
521 Valencia St, between 16th and 17th.
San Francisco.

Pepper, Jen, Kristina, and various other people will be chatting, socializing, and generally getting up to wacky hijinks at the Muddy Waters coffeehouse next Monday. Attendance varies but is almost always between 15 and 30 people. This is not a discussion or activism group, but rather just a regular social gathering - we will repeat this event the 3rd Monday of every month. Feel free to arrive late or just stop by briefly.

We welcome poly and nonmonogamous people (new, curious, or experienced) under 40 years of age. We also welcome the 40-and-over partners and lovers of people under 40, though we ask that you attend on the same evening as your under-40 partner.

detailsCollapse )
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June 21 SF Poly Under-40 Coffeehouse [18 Jun 2010|03:27pm]
Big changes are afoot!

First, we are being joined this week by Kristina, a new co-host! We are looking for another co-host as well - let me know if this is something that would interest you.

Second, I am going to start phasing out posting to LJ over the next couple months, in favor of an actual announcement email list. The email list is on google groups - add yourself or drop me a line and I will add you.
http://groups.google.com/group/sf-poly-coffeehouse

Third, this coming Monday is Death Guild's all-white party, so this is not the week to show up in black.

Monday June 21st (every 3rd Monday, next is July 19th).
6-8pm at the coffeehouse.
8-10pm dinner at a nearby restaurant.
possible clubbing afterwards.

Muddy Waters Coffeehouse.
521 Valencia St, between 16th and 17th.
San Francisco.

Pepper, Jen, Kristina, and various other people will be chatting, socializing, and generally getting up to wacky hijinks at the Muddy Waters coffeehouse next Monday. Attendance varies but is almost always between 15 and 30 people. This is not a discussion or activism group, but rather just a regular social gathering - we will repeat this event the 3rd Monday of every month. Feel free to arrive late or just stop by briefly.

We welcome poly and nonmonogamous people (new, curious, or experienced) under 40 years of age. We also welcome the 40-and-over partners and lovers of people under 40, though we ask that you attend on the same evening as your under-40 partner.

detailsCollapse )
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May 17 SF poly under-40 coffeehouse social and dinner [11 May 2010|02:04pm]
Monday May 17th (every 3rd Monday, next is June 21st).
6-8pm at the coffeehouse.
8-10pm dinner at a nearby restaurant.
possible clubbing afterwards.

Muddy Waters Coffeehouse.
521 Valencia St, between 16th and 17th.
San Francisco.

Jen, Pepper, and various other people will be chatting, socializing, and generally getting up to wacky hijinks at the Muddy Waters coffeehouse next Monday. Attendance varies but is almost always between 15 and 30 people. This is not a discussion or activism group, but rather just a regular social gathering - we will repeat this event the 3rd Monday of every month. Feel free to arrive late or just stop by briefly.

We welcome poly and nonmonogamous people (new, curious, or experienced) under 40 years of age. We also welcome the 40-and-over partners and lovers of people under 40, though we ask that you attend on the same evening as your under-40 partner.

detailsCollapse )
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Save the date! Poly Speed Dating May 24th [05 May 2010|04:37pm]
We have finally scheduled our next Poly Speed Dating Event! Save the date! Tell your friends!

Registration is NOT YET OPEN, but we wanted to start getting the word out. We will announce when registration opens (probably this weekend). If you are not on our announcement list already, feel free to join here:
http://polyspeeddating.com/mailman/listinfo/psd

Monday, May 24th, 6:30-10:30.
at the The Blue Macaw.
2565 Mission Street at 22nd, SF, CA.

Check-in starts at 6:30pm. You must be there by 7:30. Event formally closes at 11pm.

There will be a full (pay) bar.
Refreshing food will be provided.
This is a 21+ event.
Pre-registration price: $12.00 per person, mainly to cover food and space costs.
Door price: $20.00.
No person turned away for lack of funds--please contact us!
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April 19 SF poly under-40 coffeehouse social and dinner [13 Apr 2010|02:41pm]
Monday April 19th (every 3rd Monday, next is May 17th).
6-8pm at the coffeehouse.
8-10pm dinner at a nearby restaurant.
possible clubbing afterwards.

Muddy Waters Coffeehouse.
521 Valencia St, between 16th and 17th.
San Francisco.

Jen, Pepper, and various other people will be chatting, socializing, and generally getting up to wacky hijinks at the Muddy Waters coffeehouse next Monday. Attendance varies but is almost always between 15 and 30 people. This is not a discussion or activism group, but rather just a regular social gathering - we will repeat this event the 3rd Monday of every month. Feel free to arrive late or just stop by briefly.

We welcome poly and nonmonogamous people (new, curious, or experienced) under 40 years of age. We also welcome the 40-and-over partners and lovers of people under 40, though we ask that you attend on the same evening as your under-40 partner.

detailsCollapse )
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March 15 SF poly under-40 coffeehouse social and dinner [10 Mar 2010|11:59am]
Monday March 15th (every 3rd Monday, next is April 19th).
6-8pm at the coffeehouse.
8-10pm dinner at a nearby restaurant.
possible clubbing afterwards.

Muddy Waters Coffeehouse.
521 Valencia St, between 16th and 17th.
San Francisco.

Jen, Pepper, and various other people will be chatting, socializing, and generally getting up to wacky hijinks at the Muddy Waters coffeehouse next Monday. Attendance varies but is almost always between 15 and 30 people. This is not a discussion or activism group, but rather just a regular social gathering - we will repeat this event the 3rd Monday of every month. Feel free to arrive late or just stop by briefly.

We welcome poly and nonmonogamous people (new, curious, or experienced) under 40 years of age. We also welcome the 40-and-over partners and lovers of people under 40, though we ask that you attend on the same evening as your under-40 partner.

detailsCollapse )
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Thurs March 11: poly/open club night [12 Feb 2010|04:30pm]
I love poly events, but they tend to be really quiet and subdued. I love clubbing, but when I go out most people I meet are monogamous. So I got together with two of my friends and decided to create a scene that combines our love of night life with the way we love.

We are proud to present Love Triangle San Francisco, a club night for people who are poly, open, swingers, or otherwise nonmonogamous, along with their monogamous friends. We want you to show up, dance, party, meet people, and have a great time.

Most of the evening, renowned DJs Tomas Diablo and Femme Mystique will be spinning a mix of goth and 80's music. In addition, we are being joined by the Black Widows burlesque troop for some serious teasing. For the indulgent, Phillipe of Edible Love will be selling chocolate treats.

We are holding Love Triangle at the Blue Macaw on Mission, formerly the 12 Galaxies, from 9pm to 2am. The party is FREE before 10 pm ($8 after), to help out our party peeps who cannot pay the cover. It is on March 11th, which is a Thursday. If it does well we will move it to the weekend. The party is unfortunately 21+ due to club rules.

There is no dress code. Feel free to show up in goth, fetish, 80's fashion, cocktail chic, or street clothes. Due to state alcohol laws, you must not be nude: crotches and women's nipples must be covered. And for those of you who are wondering, this is NOT a play party.

Check it out at:
http://www.lovetrianglesf.com/

Pepper, Matt, and Joanna
4 comments|post comment

Feb 15 SF poly under-40 coffeehouse social and dinner [09 Feb 2010|10:30am]
Monday Feb 15th (every 3rd Monday, next is March 15th).
6-8pm at the coffeehouse.
8-10pm dinner at a nearby restaurant.
possible clubbing afterwards.

Muddy Waters Coffeehouse.
521 Valencia St, between 16th and 17th.
San Francisco.

Jen, Pepper, and various other people will be chatting, socializing, and generally getting up to wacky hijinks at the Muddy Waters coffeehouse next Monday. Attendance varies but is almost always between 15 and 30 people. This is not a discussion or activism group, but rather just a regular social gathering - we will repeat this event the 3rd Monday of every month. Feel free to arrive late or just stop by briefly.

We welcome poly and nonmonogamous people (new, curious, or experienced) under 40 years of age. We also welcome the 40-and-over partners and lovers of people under 40, though we ask that you attend on the same evening as your under-40 partner.

detailsCollapse )
2 comments|post comment

Jan 18: SF poly under-40 coffeehouse and dinne [12 Jan 2010|05:22pm]
Monday Jan 18th (every 3rd Monday, next is February 15th).
6-8pm at the coffeehouse.
8-10pm dinner at a nearby restaurant.
possible clubbing afterwards.

Muddy Waters Coffeehouse.
521 Valencia St, between 16th and 17th.
San Francisco.

Jen, Pepper, and various other people will be chatting, socializing, and generally getting up to wacky hijinks at the Muddy Waters coffeehouse next Monday. Attendance varies but is almost always between 15 and 30 people. This is not a discussion or activism group, but rather just a regular social gathering - we will repeat this event the 3rd Monday of every month. Feel free to arrive late or just stop by briefly.

We welcome poly and nonmonogamous people (new, curious, or experienced) under 40 years of age. We also welcome the 40-and-over partners and lovers of people under 40, though we ask that you attend on the same evening as your under-40 partner.

detailsCollapse )
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Dec 21st, 3rd Mon SF poly under-40 coffeehouse and dinner [15 Dec 2009|03:13pm]
Monday Dec 21st (every 3rd Monday, next is January 18th).
6-8pm at the coffeehouse.
8-10pm dinner at a nearby restaurant.
possible clubbing afterwards.

Muddy Waters Coffeehouse.
521 Valencia St, between 16th and 17th.
San Francisco.

Jen, Pepper, and various other people will be chatting, socializing, and generally getting up to wacky hijinks at the Muddy Waters coffeehouse next Monday. Attendance varies but is almost always between 15 and 30 people. This is not a discussion or activism group, but rather just a regular social gathering - we will repeat this event the 3rd Monday of every month. Feel free to arrive late or just stop by briefly.

We welcome poly and nonmonogamous people (new, curious, or experienced) under 40 years of age. We also welcome the 40-and-over partners and lovers of people under 40, though we ask that you attend on the same evening as your under-40 partner.

detailsCollapse )
5 comments|post comment

Nov 16th: 3rd Mon SF poly under-40 coffeehouse and dinner [11 Nov 2009|05:59pm]
Monday Nov 16th (every 3rd Monday, next is Dec 21st).
6-8pm at the coffeehouse.
8-10pm dinner at a nearby restaurant.
possible clubbing afterwards.

Muddy Waters Coffeehouse.
521 Valencia St, between 16th and 17th.
San Francisco.

Jen, Pepper, and various other people will be chatting, socializing, and generally getting up to wacky hijinks at the Muddy Waters coffeehouse next Monday. Attendance varies but is almost always between 15 and 30 people. This is not a discussion or activism group, but rather just a regular social gathering - we will repeat this event the 3rd Monday of every month. Feel free to arrive late or just stop by briefly.

We welcome poly and nonmonogamous people (new, curious, or experienced) under 40 years of age. We also welcome the 40-and-over partners and lovers of people under 40, though we ask that you attend on the same evening as your under-40 partner.

detailsCollapse )
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Practical Nonmonogamy Workshop, Nov 9 Berkeley [04 Nov 2009|06:51pm]
Mon Nov 9, 8-10pm (doors open at 7:30)
Good Vibrations BERKELEY
2504 San Pablo Ave (@ Dwight Way)
Berkeley, CA

$15 pre-registered
$20 at door

Good Vibrations event page:
http://www.goodvibes.com/content.jhtml?id=298

Any relationship can raise lots of questions, but nonmonogamy (such as polyamory or open relationships) adds a whole new level of complexity. Whether you or a partner are thinking about opening up your relationship, you’ve ever tried it and had it blow up, or you’re making it work and would like some new tools, this workshop by Pepper and Jen will help you find your way. They’ll talk about negotiating boundaries around nonmonogamy, managing jealousy, the different forms nonmonogamy can take, and much more. With a little bit of information and thinking, nonmonogamy can be much smoother. Come find out how!

For more information about Pepper, check out his blog at www.freaksexual.com.

To purchase a ticket for this workshop, please visit
http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/77951
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Oct 19: 3rd Mon SF poly under-40 coffeehouse and dinner [13 Oct 2009|07:48pm]
Monday Oct 19th (every 3rd Monday, next is Nov 16th).
6-8pm at the coffeehouse.
8-10pm dinner at a nearby restaurant.
possible clubbing afterwards.

Muddy Waters Coffeehouse.
521 Valencia St, between 16th and 17th.
San Francisco.

Jen, Pepper, and various other people will be chatting, socializing, and generally getting up to wacky hijinks at the Muddy Waters coffeehouse next Monday. Attendance varies but is almost always between 15 and 30 people. This is not a discussion or activism group, but rather just a regular social gathering - we will repeat this event the 3rd Monday of every month. Feel free to arrive late or just stop by briefly.

We welcome poly and nonmonogamous people (new, curious, or experienced) under 40 years of age.  We also welcome the 40-and-over partners and lovers of people under 40, though we ask that you attend on the same evening as your under-40 partner.
detailsCollapse )

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Reminder: Nonmonogamy for Men Class this Wednesday [12 Oct 2009|12:34pm]
I'm holding my new class this Wednesday.  In this post, I managed to actually include pre-registration information.

Are you a guy who is new to the poly (or other nonmonogamous) scene?  Have you been doing poly for a while but have yet to be successful in the way you want?  Are you looking to branch out and find play buddies or visit sex parties?

I am holding a new class specifically focusing on the vagaries of being a man attracted to women in the nonmonogamous world.  This class is meant to compliment standard "poly 101" classes, digging beyond them into the practical specifics.  It will be at Good Vibrations, and in order to keep the price down I am donating the entire take to GoodVibes.  Official description follows.

------------------------
Getting to the Fun: Nonmonogamy for Men Attracted to Women (NEW).
Wednesday, October 14, 8-10 pm.
Good Vibrations.
603 Valencia Street (at 17th Street), San Francisco.
$15 if pre-registered, $20 for drop-ins.

To pre-register before the day of the event, visit http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/77957.  To pre-register the day of the event before 7pm, call 415-522-5460.

Lots of men want to explore the world beyond monogamy, but very few manage to actually do it. In this class, Pepper will describe a series of attitude shifts and simple strategies that can help men get involved with women in the context of multiple relationships, sex parties, and casual sex.  If you have been attempting some kind of nonmonogamy (from play parties to polyamory) but have been frustrated, then this is the class for you.  Pepper brings a lifetime of nonmonogamous experience to the class, giving him insight into the way men and women think about getting out and about.  This is a class targeted towards men attracted to women, and which primarily discusses sexual and romantic interactions between men and women.  Women, trans people, and men attracted to men are welcome and will definitely get something out of this class, but certain topics may not apply.  For more information about Pepper, check out his blog at www.freaksexual.com.

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White Male Privilege in Dating [07 Oct 2009|11:15am]
For those on my friends-list who don't know this, "white male privilege" is the term for all the ways that being a white guy makes your life easier.  As it turns out, one of those ways is when one is dating.

A recent analysis of OkCupid first-response data posted on their blog has confirmed that white men are more in demand than men of other races.  Which is to say, they were more likely to get responses than other men, and less likely to respond than other men.  (Though it should be noted that on dating websites in general, women are more in demand than men by these measures - but that has a lot to do with the expectation than men will write women first.)

The white guy advantage stays the same even if you correct for height, OKC-measured attractiveness, and OKC-measured compatibility.  Indeed, people were equally compatible across all the racial groups, which means that they are using race as a factor in addition to actual OKC-measured compatibility.  White women did not share this advantage, though they did have a definite preference for men of their own race, something not shared by women of other racial groups.

There's a lot more interesting data in there - I recommend that you go read it.

In the comments I see a lot of "well it's okay if I have particular preferences - that's just who I am".  This is not a question of individual preferences.  These statistics are pointing out that if you take a large number of people, the individual preferences tend to point in certain directions.  Which begs the question of why there are apparently culture-wide preference tendencies of this sort.  The simple answer is that racism is alive and well and affecting us in subtle ways.



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Wed Oct 14: New Nonmonogamy for Men Class [05 Oct 2009|11:43pm]
Are you a guy who is new to the poly (or other nonmonogamous) scene? Have you been doing poly for a while but have yet to be successful in the way you want? Are you looking to branch out and find play buddies or visit sex parties?

I am holding a new class specifically focusing on the vagaries of being a man attracted to women in the nonmonogamous world. This class is meant to compliment standard "poly 101" classes, digging beyond them into the practical specifics. It will be at Good Vibrations, and in order to keep the price down I am donating the entire take to GoodVibes. Official description follows.

------------------------
Getting to the Fun: Nonmonogamy for Men Attracted to Women (NEW).
Wednesday, October 14, 8-10 pm.
Good Vibrations.
603 Valencia Street (at 17th Street), San Francisco.
$15 if pre-registered, $20 for drop-ins.

Lots of men want to explore the world beyond monogamy, but very few manage to actually do it. In this class, Pepper will describe a series of attitude shifts and simple strategies that can help men get involved with women in the context of multiple relationships, sex parties, and casual sex. If you have been attempting some kind of nonmonogamy (from play parties to polyamory) but have been frustrated, then this is the class for you. Pepper brings a lifetime of nonmonogamous experience to the class, giving him insight into the way men and women think about getting out and about. This is a class targeted towards men attracted to women, and which primarily discusses sexual and romantic interactions between men and women. Women, trans people, and men attracted to men are welcome and will definitely get something out of this class, but certain topics will not apply to them. For more information about Pepper, check out his blog at www.freaksexual.com.
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Oct 3: Presenting on Polyamory and Technology at Arse Elektronika [24 Sep 2009|04:07pm]
I will be co-presenting (with my friend Kim, a professor in Rhetoric) on the strong roles that the internet and other recent technologies have taken in the practice of polyamory and the formation of poly identity.

1436 Howard St at 10th, SF.
Saturday Oct 3rd, 6-7pm.

Arse Elektronika conference.
$12 registration (pre-register online).
http://www.monochrom.at/arse-elektronika/

Polyamory + Technology = Sexual and Romantic Abundance
By Kim De Vries and Pepper Mint

Discussions of sex and technology often center on innovations in sex toys, or special effects in porn, but technology plays a far greater role than that. Technology increasingly facilitates social connections in general, and romantic or sexual connections in particular. A group that arguably has been among the most enabled by technology are those practicing polyamory. This panel explores how various technologies enhance and empower polyamorous relationships, and considers how polyamory may be in turn shaped by the use of technology. Among the platforms considered are online calendars, social networking sites, chat clients, microblogs and blogs, and also less obvious technologies like matching algorithms for speed-dating and dating websites. The approach combines both theory and lived experience, as the speakers adopt the double vision of both participant and observer in the world of polyamory.
2 comments|post comment

Sept 21: 3rd Mon SF poly under-40 coffeehouse and dinner [16 Sep 2009|12:43pm]
Monday Sept 21st (every 3rd Monday, next is Oct 19th).
6-8pm at the coffeehouse.
8-10pm dinner at a nearby restaurant.
possible clubbing afterwards.

Muddy Waters Coffeehouse.
521 Valencia St, between 16th and 17th.
San Francisco.

Jen, Pepper, and various other people will be chatting, socializing, and generally getting up to wacky hijinks at the Muddy Waters coffeehouse next Monday. Attendance varies but is almost always between 15 and 30 people. This is not a discussion or activism group, but rather just a regular social gathering - we will repeat this event the 3rd Monday of every month. Feel free to arrive late or just stop by briefly.

We welcome poly and nonmonogamous people (new, curious, or experienced) under 40 years of age. We also welcome the 40-and-over partners and lovers of people under 40, though we ask that you attend on the same evening as your under-40 partner.

detailsCollapse )
2 comments|post comment

Reminder: Poly Speed Dating this Sunday! [08 Sep 2009|11:02pm]
Poly Speed Dating is this Sunday! We have around a hundred people signed up but we still have space for more! We strongly recommend pre-registering - last time we had to close registration for everyone in the days before the event, including women.

http://polyspeeddating.com/

Sunday, September 13th, 5:30-10pm.
Daters must be there by 6:30!
Women's Building.
3543 18th St at Valencia.
San Francisco.

$12 pre-reg.
$20 at the door, if registration is still open.
No one turned away for lack of $$ - contact us.
Funds are for space and food, and to support the Women's Building.

In other news, we did not have to run a lottery for (cisgender) men attracted to women who registered on their own - everyone who registered is in! We are closing registration for these men at this point, however. If you are a guy who is interested in *only* dating women and you have not yet registered, you can get in by finding a woman friend who is going and can refer you when they register. Make sure they note you in their comment box. Note that we are only doing this so we can gender-balance the matching - we really like you guys and want you to be able to go!

If you want to take advantage of the childcare, we need to know now! We will make final childcare decisions Wednesday (tomorrow) night, and may not be able to provide you childcare if you register after that, depending on how the caregiver count works out.

Questions? Check the website FAQ or email info@polyspeeddating.com.

Pepper
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